Take a Step Back

Do you ever feel like you're just too busy? Too busy to get through your to-do list each day and too busy to take time out for the things that you really love? Being busy makes us feel like we're making an impact with many of us wearing busyness like a badge of honour for how important we are. But just like today's society tainted by instant gratification, busyness makes us impatient.

I for one am guilty of being impatient in situations of little importance and it comes about because of my thoughts and beliefs. I like to jam so much into my day that I rush around, being dictated by the clock. If something or someone delays me in some way, it doesn't take long for the impatience to begin to creep in. See, I juggle a number of lines of work - writing or speaking one minute, seeing private clients or working with the Rabbitohs the next - and I am constantly rushing from one thing to the next, while still finding the time to exercise and socialise with family and friends. Recently, I also had to throw organising my wedding into the mix, which meant my time management had to be even more precise. Even with all my tasks timetabled into my week, lists absolutely everywhere and the realisation I probably had taken on more than I could chew, I still became irritated over the slightest of things. Of course, I was oblivious to my impatience at the time.

We had the most perfect wedding day even with all the rain. A few things may have not been the way we had planned, but it didn't bother us in the slightest. After our wedding we headed for a short honeymoon (or mini-moon as we called it) to Vanuatu. The minute we stepped off the plane, I felt instantly relaxed. Even standing in the customs queue for 20 minutes didn't bother me. I didn't have anywhere to be - I was on Vanuatu time now. Arriving at our resort, I immediately felt like I was in paradise. A divine beachfront villa, complete with a private plunge pool and beach access, and a total of three other couples to share the amazing sunsets with. For four days, I was going chill out with my new husband, read, snorkel, eat, drink and relax.

What I noticed over the next few days was just how relaxed I was. Even when we were stranded on a deserted island in the middle of a storm without any shelter, all I could do was laugh and enjoy the surroundings. I knew our boat would come back and get us eventually. Time was not an issue and I didn't have any iPhone, iPad or laptop to distract me. I was only away for four days (two days was a weekend), so anything important could wait till Monday.

As much as I didn't want to leave Vanuatu, the time came when we had to board our flight. I wanted to bottle up how relaxed I felt and take it back to Sydney with me. I wanted to be patient and relaxed in life, lose the sense of urgency and just enjoy the simple things more. When we arrived in Sydney, I turned on my iPhone only to hear an influx of sms, emails and missed calls beep from my phone. I put the phone back in my bag and decided to deal with it the next day...after all I was technically still on holidays.

As the working week started, the realisation of being back on Sydney time set in. Very quickly I noticed the pressure I was placing on myself to complete tasks and reach deadlines. (I pride myself on meeting all deadlines no matter how unrealistic they seem). What I realised though, was the thoughts that were racing through my mind were what were making me feel somewhat overwhelmed. Even when driving or doing the grocery shopping, I noticed feelings of annoyance grew with small inconveniences like being cut off by other cars or having to dodge trolleys in the middle of the aisle. Although I was only slightly annoyed, I hadn't felt these feelings at all when we were in Vanuatu. I knew I had to change my thinking.

Living in our fast-paced society makes many of us feel frantic. Feeling frantic doesn't help us achieve what we need to; it actually makes mistakes more likely and increases impatience and feelings of anger. Many of us rush through life without any direction about what we are trying to achieve, taking on more and more tasks simply because they become available to us. I think it's important in life to assess our commitments and let go of anything we feel is not a priority. That way we can achieve more by doing less and when we feel ourselves become impatient we can take a step back and slow down our thoughts. Busyness is a state of mind, we don't have to act on it. So, next time you feel yourself getting irrationally angry or impatient, take a step back and get in tune with what really matters.